Friday, July 5, 2019

love and forgiveness

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Every being has an identity and a purpose. To live up to his purpose, every being has the power of self-control, and that’s where spiritual power begins. When some of these fundamental things are learned, the time will be right for more to be revealed and spiritual power will come again to this land.

- Rolling Thunder


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Tantay relatives!


This post is for the many good hearts I was lucky enough to meet and share 5 days (for me) "camping" in the wilds of New Mexico.


First, thank you to you all (and you know who you are;) for one of the most profound weeks in my life (I'm 67teen). Seriously...


I was honored to be asked and delighted that creator provided me with another opportunity for an adventure in my life. Opportunity often won't wait long for a reply so I'm glad this came together so quickly.


Way back when, I was breaking up with a woman I had lived with for years. It was a really foggy day (San Joaquin Valley tule fog) in Fresno and I knew if I headed east to the foothills I could get me some sunshine.


I know a spot that has some fine rock gardens on one side of the road and on the other side a cluster of bedrock mortars - maybe 100 or so - were perched on this fine, oak studded knoll. 


It always saddens me to visit these old family sites knowing that once families lived on and near this beautiful spot. A small creek flows nearby all year and the oak grassland landscape is like home to me. 


But even there that day, the fog didn't want to clear. And I could relate. 


So I sat down on a rock and soon started to talking to those that aren't, but are, there. And then overhead a patch of blue opened up and a bald eagle flew through the opening and I made a mistake, one probably more than a few us have made, I asked for something.


Lordy. 


My life was in turmoil, not in a bad way but just... well, tumultuous.


And what I asked for? Change.


I know, "oops."


But...


... it all has worked and here I am in a place that my need for change has lead me. I've moved from Oregon after 30 years and I'm now living in California with my family in an inter-generational household, from 1 to 71.


And it is here and the change it took me to get here that lead to my being at that ceremony in New Mexico. And it was there that almost all of y'all came into my life. From my first meeting of Grandfather Semu at Redwind until now I found myself totally at home with strangers that were almost instantly not strangers but family. 


What I know of the native people of Turtle Island I know both from book learnin' and life experience.


I am a far different man today precisely because I took the step of introducing myself to a man I didn't know and found myself with another brother. I usually say 1/2 brothers because we do really have the same mother... I mean really...



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and here's the shot I was bragging on to some of you

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To ALL my relations

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A well-known scientist (some say it was Bertrand Russell) once gave a public lecture on astronomy. He described how the Earth orbits around the Sun and how the Sun, in turn, orbits around the center of a vast collection of stars called our Galaxy. At the end of the lecture, a little old lady at the back of the room got up and said, "What you have told us is rubbish. The world is really a flat plate supported on the back of a giant tortoise." The scientist gave a superior smile before replying, "What is the tortoise standing on?" "You're very clever, young man, very clever," said the old lady, "but it's turtles all the way down!"

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Saturday, March 2, 2019

Landing on Revis

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Wilderness is not a luxury but a necessity of the human spirit.

~ Edward Abbey

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This is just a drive-by posting...

... and I will return with more about my current situation but wanted folks to know that yes, I'm still kicking.

I'm back in Califas after spending 97% of the last 30 years living in Oregon. I had no idea when I left CA in 1990 what a trip that would be. And then some!

I am currently situated 300' below the 2080' summit of Revis Mtn in the Sierra Nevada foothills. I hike the mountain nearly daily and have fallen deeply in love with this little island of wild California. No cows. No off-road vehicles.

I must say that hiking California's foothills without cows is a rare experience but the thrill of no cow pies and the attendant hordes of flies makes this spot a true delight. And, as I've declared more than once while watching the day's light play across the trees and rocks, this place is crazy beautiful.

Well, here, have a look for yourself:

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And please, have a visit to my photo art for sale over at Fine Art America and maybe you'll be inspired to spend a few bucks and help support this old phart in his dotage.

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Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.

~ Albert Einstein

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Thursday, September 13, 2018

saying goodbye...

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Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

- Will Rogers

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Well, my run here at the old farmhouse has come to an end.





























I've live here for 13 years, longer than anywhere I've ever lived. Unfortunately I ran into some medical issues last summer, both to me and one of the dogs.






























Then my roommate lost her ability to pay her share of rent last fall after she lost her job. She stayed on thru to the spring of this year with her newborn son. Because she had no work I was left with keeping the utilities paid, plus all my other bills (including the medical bills) and I was lucky I was even able to afford food.

As a single dad I raised my 2 kids here. There was no way I was putting a new mom and her newborn baby out on the street. Plus she was a great roommate, a friend and I loved her and her baby like family.

When I was raising my children here my daughter was always on me about getting food stamps. Call me stubborn, call me a masochist, heck! call me a hard-headed Swede. But I was an able bodied male and damned if I was going to let Uncle Sugar get into my life any more than it already was.





























So it is that at 67teen I find myself once again with major life decisions to make and new changes - in whatever form they take - to deal with.





























If you be of a mind to help I've started a self-fundraiser to help pay off my medical bills and to maybe help my transition into the next phase of my life.

Ideally... I will find someone, an organization or an individual, somewhere, that will find me the perfect fit for their need of a resident caretaker.

It's my perfect job. I do carpentry, plumbing, household electric, painting, gardening and I'm a photographer and writer. I've been a medical amateur professional for 2 decades as an events medicine volunteer. I did wildlife rehab in the early '80s. I am a published writer. I am a  published photographer.

And I love the land.





















Living in nature is where I need to be. I've lived off the grid. I love isolation and quiet.

I've spent 60 years being squished and squeezed by the forces of conformance. But I DON'T fit. Sure I've muddled through, going where the universal winds of whim carry me, but "civilization" is all just too much.

I am not a consumer. I am a warrior for my people (friends, family and community) and for the earth's living beings without a voice. I am a teacher, perhaps even a bit of a healer. I am an artist.





















I am an elder and there is still strength in my wings. I know I shall fly but where will I land?

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“It’s clearly a crisis of two things: of consciousness and conditioning. We have the technological power, the engineering skills to save our planet, to cure disease, to feed the hungry, to end war; But we lack the intellectual vision, the ability to change our minds. We must decondition ourselves from 10,000 years of bad behavior. And, it’s not easy.”

- Terence McKenna

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Tuesday, November 14, 2017

faces

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Learn the sweet magic of a cheerful face.

- Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

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for the couch:


Pete and Allan


Allan and Jim (NCN )(had to do this one all Nor'westy like...)

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there once was a life I sailed the wwwebly seas

on ocean often calm
but sometimes not
with a motley crew
all wisey-kind in cleverish ways
we fought, often for days
against them blarney types
or, against each other
all-friendly-like o' course
and we'd gather
from places far, far away
strangers some
but then not for long
for a brisk skirmish
made friends of those
who stand side by side

those days I sometimes miss
when asses we'd kick
when Malcolm would cry out
"heave to boys!"
and Nemo would point
"thar she blows!"
characters all
would stand as one
(well, maybe 1 1/2...)
dark and bb, ddc
hope and all
I salute yer raggedy
piratical anarchal arses

thanks for the memories
Huzzah!

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Monday, February 1, 2016

Bundy, Malheur - and reality

It does not require a doctorate in economics to guess that the feds would 
have come out well ahead in 1969 if they had simply paid ranchers the 
full market value of the animals supposedly killed by coyotes and let it 
go at that. This conclusion becomes still more attractive if one accepts 
Cole's calculation that the hundreds of coyotes bagged in 1969 by traps, 
snares, baited cyanide canisters, hunting dogs and bullets would have 
dispatched approximately 55,000 jack rabbits, had they been permitted 
to live to perform this service for the ranchers of Arizona. Because 150 
jack rabbits consume enough forage to support one cow or five sheep, 
the coyote carnage in 1969 cost more than $50,000 in lost cattle 
production.

- John Alcock, Sonoran Desert Summer

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I have been closely following the "standoff" at the Malheur Wildlife
Refuge, near Burns, Oregon. I have not been one to apply the label of
terrorist, activist, or any descriptor really to these people following
the Bundys and their "friends."

For surely it is (or was, it is near it's end)  at best, a protest. At
worst - politically - it is sedition, acting with arms against the
government.

But that is not my fight. Stop telling me I am "misinformed" and refrain
from calling me a stooge of the government because I think Harney Co.
Sheriff Dave Ward has done fine work under difficult circumstances.

I've thought long on this (which is why I'm a day behind on putting this
blog together). In fact yesterday morning I took a long walk thinking
about all the strings I need to tie together to make my point.

Ok... sigh... grab your coffee, sorry there are no more doughnuts (my 
cop friends ate the last ones) but hopefully I'll give you something 
(or a few things) of substance to chew on. Oh, and no photos today.

What I'm NOT going to do? I'm not going to talk about the Constitution, 
or guns.

No... I'm going to start this with some words I posted on Facebook the
other day:

Whether you are right or wrong on your issues is a moot point because 
your tactics MAKE YOU WRONG!

You came into my state and took over a resource that is open to us ALL 
and shut it down so NO ONE could use it.

When we approach righteous grievances for redress, we cannot go 
armed and paranoid, prepared to commit violence. Rather - as MLK 
and many, many others have taught and done - only thru non-violent 
civil disobedience can we be effective. We can blockade. We can hunger 
strike We can speak, using our big people words.

As a long time activist on many issues I've always shunned any advocates
for violence in my circles. Advocates for violence are (imho) one of 2
types - 1) they are agent provocateurs, undercover plants from the
police/govt intending to create a situation that involves criminal
activity, or 2) they are crazy and dangerous.

And if you want to be warriors, "defending your people"... ?

... be like the 200 or so warriors that fought off damn near the whole 
US Army when Chief Joseph attempted to take his people to Canada. 
THAT is how WE roll here in Oregon.

The world needs smart. The world needs cooperators, not conspirators.

The age of conquering and conquerors is over. It's dead. Swords into
plowshares. It's time for the One Straw Revolution

That last part - the age of conquering and conquerors is over - is 
veryimportant. Weaponry has come to a point that makes violence, 
especially warfare, obsolete. There is no longer any end served from 
war other than a maintenance of chaos and tyranny.

What drives the engine now is not territorial expansion. With 
economicsnow a global enterprise and consumerism the be-all and
 end-all of modern civilization...
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sorry! Had a coffee snort on that one...

... now it is a drive for extraction of resource. Yes, natural resources have always been extracted and yes that's how the world was built. Great. But the house that was built is on fire, the foundation is crumbling and the cupboards are near bare.


All resource extraction to this point has pretty much relied on the myth that we can do this forever. We can't. And we've been so sloppy in our going about all this consumption that we've once again soiled the nest. So not only can we not going about doing things the way we have been but we must also begin undoing our calamitous system and rebuilding a system that fits with some basic natural laws.


Like... 


... resources are finite

... we don't shit in our own well.

... nor do we shit in our neighbor's well.

And that is what the Bundy cabal did. They came into Oregon and shit in our well. We certainly don't have everything right but damned if we don't try. Sometimes we get it right (saving our entire coastline for all of us). Sometimes we need to be creative. 

Like that time when Richard Nixon was supposed to be coming to Portland but fears of tens of thousands of hippies and yippees coming to town to protest prompted Gov Tom McCall into action! Yes, something needed to be done. So what did this Republican governor do? Why, what any common sense individual would do, he threw a free rock festival.

The Vortex

Yep. A republican governor threw a free party, kept the cops away and let the hippies play. There were no hippie riots and I don't believe Tricky Dick made it at all.

The "hippies" have earned their spot in Oregon. They came, they worked, they spent money, bought land and homes and raised families. Read about the Hoedads.

Planting trees is the sort of mind-numbing stoop labor that most people go to college in order to avoid. Loggers shudder when they contemplate the rigors of tree planting. It is winter work, cold and wet and mud-spattered grubbing on steep mountain sides. It has always been done by those at the very lowest levels of the Northwest social order, hillbillies, drifters, derelicts, migrant farm workers and illegal aliens. And yet, a survey of the Hoedads Inc. membership in the late 1970’s found that planters with post-graduate degrees were more common among them than high school drop-outs.

In it's beginnings Oregon was also pretty damn racist. White was right. And the Malheur was treated no differently. Why? Because it was Paiute land. And what ruined it for the Paiutes?

[from the DailyKos] For most of the 1800s and earlier, Eastern Oregon was largely the territory of the Northern Paiute. The Malheur Indian Reservation was created in 1872 to set aside a small part of their former territory exclusively for Native Americans. The reservation was established by executive order of President Ulysses Grant. This was necessary since Congress refused to ratify the 1868 treaty negotiated with the Paiute (there’s rarely been any political benefit to treating Indians fairly).

Ok, sounds good right? Give the indigenous folks a spot of their own? 


[from that bedrock of liberalism, The Oregon History Project] By 1875 more than 700 Paiute and Bannock Indians were spending their winters on the reservation, an agricultural school had been established, and several dozen Indian men were learning how to farm. The administration of the reservation, however, was severely hampered by a steady reduction in federal appropriations. Agent W.V. Rinehart complained to his superiors that “it is the avowed policy of the Government to make the Indians self-supporting, and yet I am left without the means to make the initiatory steps for the furtherance of that policy….I ask if it is fair or reasonable to circumscribe the already limited energies of a people whom God made as free as the deer on their mountains; to curtail their natural means of subsistence by herding them upon reservations, that the dominant race may enjoy their territory, and then expect them to support themselves without assistance?”

Rinehart’s complaints fell on deaf ears. Appropriations were reduced again the following year, medical supplies arrived nearly a year late, and to make matters worse, local stockmen had begun encroaching upon reservation lands. Some were so bold, Rinehart wrote his 1878 report, “that they have even taken up their residence within the limits of the reservation, and make no secret of their intention to occupy and use the land.” [emphasis mine - ae]

Ahhh... there is Ammon Bundy's historical context. Except instead of the gubmint, the Bundy's gang occupied the Paiute's land. Right, it's all coming clear... we were assholes then and we're still assholes.

But, I don't equate the Bundys with the folks on the east side of the state. I've met them. I lived with them down in Adel. And for me and my family it was a journey into "hostile" territory. I was a long-haired hippie working for a locally despised environmental organization, The Nature Conservancy.

But you know what? I worked hard and the ranchers and other locals saw the changes to the ranch I'd been tasked with renovating. They became our friends, especially John Lane, Earl and Jean Rogers and Bill Hickey and his son. 

And THAT dear friends and readers, is my point. The local folks in Lake County treated us with respect and let us prove ourselves. 

Coming into a community and holding a part of it hostage shows no respect and deserves no respect.

And it wasn't like these Bundyites just suddenly showed up. Oh no... they had been in the area in the fall:

[from the Oregonian] On Nov. 5, a Thursday, Ward met the men who would cause him so much grief. They gathered on the second-floor law library at the courthouse, more often used for researching legal precedent than setting the stage for rebellion. Among those there were Ammon Bundy and a self-styled militiaman from Montana, Ryan Payne, and two self-described patriots who head organizations in Bend and in Idaho.

There once was a time early in the 20th century when the Sandhill Crane (over 200 pairs breed at the Malheur WR) was in trouble. Through actions to save habitat and protect the birds Sandhill Cranes have a strong population.  And in many places cranes are revered and/or celebrated.

Heck, Nebraska has their own party to celebrate the Sandhills, Audubon's Nebraska Crane Festival

Japan almost lost their crane population, Red-crowned Crane: Sarurun Kamuy (God of the Marshes), but took strong measures to protect their surviving populations.

And in Africa... Largest Protected Environment in South Africa Declared

All of that leading me to this... what would have happened had the Bundy's been creative instead of creepy? What say, oh.... they came to Sheriff Dave Ward, the BLM, the ranchers and townspeople of Burns and said, "we need a forum where we can present our case and hear from others with interest in how we as a community deal with the feds and this bloated bureaucracy that has grown around use of public lands."

Suppose they had said, "we want to create an event, maybe say... a Crane Festival! With artists, politics, forums, education, music. Something that can draw a crowd of friendly people to Burns and the area that will come, spend some time and money, mybe get a little education and then leave."

But no, Allan's fantasies remain Allan's fantasies. A world where cooperation, compassion and some good-neighborness have higher priority than armed thugs screeching about their version of the Constitution (which, like the Malheur, belongs to all of us) remains a pipe dream.

These were no heroes. Men on a mission? perhaps, but an errant one. One that wasn't inclusive of basic human dignity and respect for others had no chance of success.

The world of man is at a crossroads. We can become true planetary stewards (save the rhinos, save the elephants, save the whales, the orangs, etc, etc) or we can continue our slide into a hole we ourselves dug. A hole that only cooperative (not coerced) action can bring us out of.

Cooperation, what a concept. Asshattery unwelcome. Solutions, not more problems. Let's use our big people words and put the guns down.

I'll give the last word to Jim Caswell (served as director of the Bureau of Land Management under Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne), writing in the Jan 27,2016 opinion pages of the Idaho Statesman:

Frustration around public lands is real. But that doesn’t make violence the right response or land transfers a realistic solution. The best answer to our problems is to join hands to fix the management, and to keep the truly greedy hands driving this debate off our public lands.

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Read more here: http://www.idahostatesman.com/opinion/readers-opinion/article56933223.html#storylink=cpy

more reading:

Sustainable Cowboys or Welfare Ranchers of the American West?

Who Wants A Burns Standoff? Not The Sheriff, The Ranchers, Or Even Cliven Bundy

Ammon Bundy, Montana militia leader planned land takeover for months

Oregon standoff: Bundy occupation leaves scars behind

Tribe to protesters occupying Oregon wildlife refuge: ‘We were here first … get the hell out’

one of the few times I agree with the Oregonian: Sheriff Dave Ward, the true patriot in Harney County's spectacle: Editorial

about Malheur:

Malheur Standoff Puts Science in the Crosshairs

The Bannock War

Occupation, Resistance, and History in Malheur

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A Man only learns by two things, one is reading, and the other is association with smarter people.

- Will Rogers

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Friday, January 8, 2016

violence

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Thursday, January 7, 2016

crikey mates... who left the gate open?

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Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

- Mark Twain

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Well, Oregon, you let me down. Somebody left the gate open (musta been one of them city folks, don't know the rules of common sense) and now Cliven Bundy's spawn and his pack of armed whack-a-doodles have snuck in.

Yeah. The internet is abuzz.

Me? I think they're a bunch of yahoos with guns.

The "men" (term used loosely here) that have occupied Malheur Wildlife Refuge near Burns, Oregon are no more than a bunch of fakes and flakes. And Cliven Bundy?

Cliven Bundy is a racist and a real welfare queen.


Ignorance at that level does not bode well for his cognition skills in other areas. I'm just sayin'...

As for his son and the clowns at Malheur (#VanillaIsis) I really don't know what (other than "not") they're thinking. They are not patriots and are far from "heroes." In fact there is a case of some stolen valor within the ranks of these faux militiamen.

The young men and women that "occupied" Wounded Knee ("occupying" their own land, go figure) are patriots. Mary and Carrie Dann  are patriots.

In the early 1980s a movement that had built momentum from the '60s and '70s began protests across the country against the insane levels of nuclear weapons stockpiled (mostly) by the United States and the old Soviet Union. Over 30 thousand nuclear devices were ready for use by us and the Soviet Union had 20 thousand plus nuclear weapons in their arsenal. And people protested.

We occupied federal facilities. People like the Berrigan brothers, Wavy Gravy, Starhawk, Daniel Ellsberg - and me and hundreds of others - stood up face-to-face with federal authority. And we did it unarmed. Nationwide there were probably no more than a few thousand of us at several facilities (me at Vandenberg AFB in Central California).

Key phrase: unarmed and willing to be arrested. Which of course we were.

We claimed the higher moral ground. We faced the criticism, the name calling and insults. We were arrested and we served our sentences. And we did bring some sense to the issue.

In 1986 there were over 60,000 nuclear weapons world wide. By 1992 the nuclear stockpile was reduced by a third. By 2002 levels had been reduced by more than 2/3 from the 1986 peak of 65,000.

"Unarmed and willing to be arrested." That's how human beings being human do it. That's patriotism.

Go home fellas. Leave and close the gate behind you. You simply are not wanted, nor needed.



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The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

- Mark Twain

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Friday, December 25, 2015

Christmas 2015

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You are an explorer, and you represent our species, and the greatest good you can do is to bring back a new idea, because our world is endangered by the absence of good ideas. Our world is in crisis because of the absence of consciousness.

- Terence McKenna

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For me, over these 6 decades come and gone, this season is a triad of "holidays" (holy days). Dec 21 is both the day I mark as the Winter Solstice and my mother Vivian's (RIP) birthday.


Of course these days my mom's birthday is kinda sad as I do miss her, very much. She was such a good soul and having to raise me along with my 2 1/2 siblings must have been quite the challenge.

The Winter's Solstice... aaah... this is me. Long ago I slipped into the life stream of the natural world. And that world is one that exists not just as material but as the core of my heart, mind and soul. 

I love the earth. More than my mom, my family or my friends. 






Nature is all. It is all we have and all that we have has come from her. The life here on our planet is absolutely connected to life everywhere. There is no other, there is but here. Infinite life expands in all directions - macro and micro.

But Christmas... sigh... 

... Christmas was great as a kid. Innocence makes so much believable. But Christmas is like the Kachinas. It dances into the village costumed and caricaturized. Dancing a lie, a myth but telling the story. Only when an individual is old enough are they made aware that the Kachinas are their relatives, their neighbors. The masks come off.

For me the mask came off Christmas when I started doing sweatlodge and traveling with the plant medicines, the entheogenic spirits. 



I can't in good conscience share the "joy" of giving. Our consumption will be our doom. It's as simple as that. While many of my friends understand this, the majority of modern humans are clueless. For 40 years I've been at odds with the society around me. Heck, I've flung my body at that wall more than once.

And it's never been easy! I mean I sure don't want to be the Grinch. I don't want to spoil anyone's enjoyment, especially the children's. So my kids were raised celebrating Christmas. But once we moved into the farm celebrating Christmas became an enigma. It was mid-winter, energy bills are high, I'm raising 2 kids (teenagers!) by myself and I don't believe in it. 

Luckily (?) I've never had an issue being a bit different. It was tough maturing into it but the same process was always involved - "how many sheep does it hold?" Because of me being me fighting to save an old growth forest or being a hippie working for an environmental organization in the middle of conservative ranching country or driving a truck with pot leaves painted all over it when pot was still illegal (ughhh, gross!) takes a certain amount of crazy. The rewards tho'... that's the kind.


AND driving that truck (20' flatbed loaded with tons of lumber) for almost 5 years with no violations shows a certain level of skill. 

I'm not trying to change anybody. I do work hard on occasion trying to change minds - and hearts - but mostly I want to enjoy this lifetime's sojourn on a beautiful planet. A planet I call home and mother.

Merry Christmas!

(self portrait)


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Please, if you like this, visit my other blogs as well:

AE, photographer (my photography)
Eugene Emeralds at Civic Stadium (Eugene Emeralds baseball)

for those who enjoy my work with Courtney

My Oregon Muse (adult content)

and my Facebook


Thanks for visiting, feel free to leave me a comment or share with your friends.

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Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behaviour and information processing. They open you up to the possibility that everything you know is wrong.

- Terence McKenna

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